I’m pissed off with books. No wait, maybe that isn’t quite right, it’s more like I am having a serious love / hate relationship with books at the moment. I cannot seem to get enough of them, I devour them and use them, and then I get angry with them for making me think, feel and question things. It reminds me of a damn good romance although that may also just be me because I long for the movie styled happy ending. In fact there seems to be no end in sight for me and books at the moment, and I have no idea if this will have a happy ending either!
I gravitate towards many types of books, my favourite would always be a good travel story, full of discoveries, adventure and the thrill of the new and the beauty of nature. These kinds of books are my ultimate procrastination books, books such as “into the wild”, “wanderlust”, “a mad world my masters” etc I disappear into the book for days and can do nothing else, aka procrastinate.
After that I get the need for inspiration and motivation and read books like the Malcom Gladwell books (I love everyone of them) or “Freakonomics” by Stephen Dubner, the behance series of books such as “Maximise your potential” and “Manage your day-to-day”. I also love “the creative compass” by Sierra Prasada and Dan Millman, and “Write Every Day” by Cathy Yardley, as well as any of Brene Brown’s books. These kinds of books get me all inspired and motivated to do stuff and I feel like I am ready to take on the world. No exaggeration at all.
But here is where the problem comes in, I cannot figure out what to do or how to do what. Enter the self-help section. I love self-help books, I am sucked in by the promising titles, the desire to get better, grow, live to my full potential. I am like a moth to a flame and I fly straight into the heat with no fear of betting burnt. I am not unaware that this is just yet another form of procrastination, “I will just read this one book, when I am finished I will take action and really do something”, is something I commonly hear in my head. Well one book follows another and another and another. It is not because I don’t want to do anything, it is because I don’t know exactly what it is that I want to do and I work in absolutes, it’s just how I am hard wired. I need to know where I’m going and why, and at the moment I lack vision, I lack direction. I have read some great books, books I would highly recommend like “the four hour work week”, “the alchemist”, “a beautiful anarchy”, SUMO, etc. All great books which leave you feeling as though you can really do it, you can make the life you want to live into a reality.
But do you want to know what happens if you are a little bit lost like I am and overdose on these books, you start waking up at 4am because your brain won’t turn off, you want to dive straight in, but you don’t know where it is that you need to dive, you want to follow your passion and make a living from it, but you don’t know where to start. All the books say start small and build up, but you are left thinking, ok that sounds great, now where do I start and you know what that does to me, it makes me pick up yet another book again looking for inspiration, motivation and searching for direction. I am no closer to figuring anything out, I am no closer to following my dreams, I am however full of the belief that anything is possible and one day I will make “it?” happen. I know the answer is not in the books, it is in the action and I have to do something to get somewhere, wherever that somewhere might be. No one can tell what or where I need to go, no one can give me my vision or tell me which direction to take, I need to do that.
And here is where we circle back around, welcome back procrastination my favourite friend (and yes I have read “the War of Art” and tell myself RESISTANCE on a daily basis), bring on the travel books, books on nutrition, photography books, anything where I can escape my head and give myself that illusion that there is in fact more time. If you are anything like me and have this crazy head spinning “what” going around in your brain please let me know! And if you were like me and found your way out of this cycle, please please please feel free to give me some butt kicking advice and rid me of this itch!