Sitting there all wrapped up, warm, cosy, dosed up full of medication, I have a cup of tea in hand and my bum on the couch. I look over and spy my camera. It’s staring at me, it’s saying ‘hello, remember me, you said you were going to take a photograph every.single.day – REMEMBER’. I pull a face and go back to my tea.
I am ill, for the first time in a very long time I am stuck at home on the couch. I don’t do ill very well, I get bored, very bored, very fast. Another side effect is having too much time to think and I have been thinking. Not surprisingly I have been thinking about photography, I always do!!! Some days I wonder whether that is a blessing or a curse. But I have realised why my 365 project isn’t working for me.
When I thought of taking on a 365 project just under 4 months ago, I told myself, or worse I justified to myself why I was taking it on. Firstly and most importantly I told myself that I was doing it for my kids, that was a complete and utter lie, the only person I was doing this for was me. There is no way my kids want or need the amount of pictures that I was taking of them. As well as that when my kids turned to me with delight or excitement on their faces instead of seeing that mirrored on my face they kept seeing this lifeless big black box. Now my kids don’t mind the camera but that doesn’t mean that I should abuse the privilege either cause things could and probably would change very quickly. I know that many people can balance their photography time during the day, but apparently not me, I am pretty full on or off!
Secondly I told myself I could make a book for my kids at the end of it, a whole year, every single day of their lives! Sounds great and I have seen so many people do it and do it so well! But I know now that that isn’t going to be me. I am happy to document life as it happens, whether that be on a daily basis or a weekly one whatever. I want to be able to add lots of images from trips and travels and lots from special moments or special days or outings etc, I am just not going to be able to stick to the one a day thing. I still think that with organisation by the end of the year I could make a great book or a series of books to keep as a memory of our year! I am sure my kids will love them just as much.
And thirdly I told myself that it would push me and help me to grow and learn as a photographer. I still believe this is a great side effect of a 365 but I have been at this for over 10 years and push myself in many ways that are currently working, so like the old saying goes “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”. I had to remind myself that photography is not just about clicking the shutter button, all your experiences, all your knowledge, all your views, the way you uniquely see your world influences when you click that shutter and why. You have to grow in every way not just in photography.
Lastly I have realised that I want to live my life as well as document it. There is a balance I need to find between photography and living and I vow to myself and to my kids to find that balance as best I can! Not every single moment needs to be a picture. And finally you know what I am just not good when I feel I have to do something haha -its called a problem with authority! 2014 is going to be a great year, full of projects and full of fun and most importantly – absolutely no rules! 🙂