the crutch…

A few months ago I moved country and in true ‘me’ fashion that means I needed to change everything to adapt. Some people say I am very adaptable, I just think I am a pain in the arse and that is more likely why I adapt.

My first problem was: being in the biggest city in the world and having to share a car. Never mind I love to solve little problems, whether I do it the right or the wrong way, or whether it costs money or is free, I really do not care just so long as I get us all adjusted and functioning well on our daily routines! Of course I would love to get this right more often than I actually do but I also have to remember to pat myself on the back every now and again.

Anyway the whole reason for this rambling is that, I bought a bike to take the kids to school, yes, me two kids, bags, 5 km, school. Japanese bikes are amazing by the way! But I soon discovered that I wasn’t able to carry my third child anymore (Nikon-baby) because I had too many other things to carry and no matter how hard I tried it just wasn’t working. So I then started a hunt for the perfect small camera to take with me everyday. I didn’t want to replace my baby but just find a little side kick. And I did – enter my lovely friend and constant companion the Fujifilm X100s – oh boy how I love this little camera. It has become a constant, by my side, my trusty always at hand camera. All sounds good doesn’t it.

Well its now about 3 months, give or take, since I got the Fuji and the other day it dawned on me that I have forgotten to pick up my Nikon-baby in quite a while. Is it because my fuji is just that good? Or am I getting lazy!!!!

So I did two things, I vowed to make time for my Nikon and secondly I needed to look through my photographs from the past 3 months and see if they suck. Sounds reasonable doesn’t it. Well here is where I hit a snag: You see I was hoping to look through those pictures and see something, something that would tell me that I am not lazy, something to tell me that the best camera is the one on you, something to tell me to stop worrying and carrying on just having fun. But something else jumped out at me:

I rely far too much on my tools and not enough on creativity and telling the story. The “look” that I am after, the “look” that is me and only me, I don’t want that to be because of the way a certain lens works or a certain camera, I want it to be because of the way my eye sees my world. I need to move past the “it wasn’t taken with the big camera” mentality and just create with what I have. I need to let go a bit more, which for those who know me well, know is not an easy task.

What is it about learning, every time you learn something new you see something else you should learn, over every hill is another view. Technically I can see the flaws in the past few months, but on the brighter side I can see more story and more willingness to just play and try. You learn through every single situation, you can learn how to do something right or you can learn how not to do something, the most important thing is that you learn and grow and never never stop trying and worst of all – never ever stop just having fun!!!

novtokyo-1027-Edit cm wm

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  • Celeste

    All very true words! Your eye for a good photo and capturing a moment is truely a gift and you don’t need to rely on the camera to do that… It’s all you.
    After reading your words, I will now try too, to enjoy the moments. I’m usually so busy with housecleaning and other chores that I forget to enjoy my kids and the precious time I have with them!!
    Keep ‘shooting’!!

  • embrace that little baby, my friend! xoxoReplyCancel